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Do Good this Chanukah and Winter Season: Ways to Give Back

Know of more opportunities to help out in DC this season?  Or looking to organize a group to do service together? E-mail RGildiner@gatherthejews.com. 

images-2In this season of Chanukah, winter cheer, and rededicating ourselves to what we care most about, here are some ways to consider giving back to those who could use some warmth, kindness, and extra blessings in their own lives:

Coats for Kids:  Help provide new winter coats to more than 6,500 children from (30) thirty local charities and community organizations in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. 

Volunteer on Christmas Day:   NOVA Tribe Series is working with The Holiday Project this year and visiting patients at the Washington Hospital Center in DC. We will sing songs, pass out presents, and visit with patients.

D25: Join the DCJCC Day of Service on Christmas Day. Projects range from 2-4 hours in length and include serving meals, preparing food for the homeless, visiting seniors, painting and throwing Christmas parties.

Donate Blood and Give the Gift of Life:  There is always a need for blood and platelet donations, but there is an increase during the holiday season.  Find the closest donation site to give or to volunteer your time.

JScreen: JScreen at Emory University is a public health initiative dedicated to preventing Jewish genetic diseases through carrier screening.

MLK DayAs the DC Commission on National and Community Service and the Mayor’s Office on Volunteerism, Serve DC commemorates the Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service each year by supporting and promoting service and civic engagement across the city.

House of Ruth:  Make a financial contribution to help end homelessness and life-long abuse.

Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse:  Help support victims of domestic abuse to become empowered and obtain safe environments. 

Eat and Party!:  Check out these culinary organizations and benefit parties that do good in their community:

Sunflower Bakery: They prepare individuals with developmental or other cognitive disabilities for employment in baking and related industries through skilled, on-the-job training.

Falafel Frenzy: Proceeds of the event will go to support hunger action programs, local Holocaust survivors living below the poverty line and many other community programs through the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington.

Know of more opportunities to help out in DC this season?  Or looking to organize a group to do service together? E-mail RGildiner@gatherthejews.com. 

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Chanukah Food and Drink Around DC

donuts-and-milkAnd you thought those grilled cheese latkes looked good. Check out delicious local Chanukah food and drinks around DC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Costa Rica Adventure

10347647_10152202326606174_7875312038987686032_nThis summer I took a group eco tour of amazing Costa Rica in Central America. Enthusiastic and experienced environmentalist Ami Greener and his travel company Greener Travel organized the ten-day adventure. The tiny nation the size of West Virginia is one percent of the world’s land mass and yet contains five percent of the world’s biodiversity. The flora and fauna, the pristine beaches, the happy people, the many cultures, the rainforest, the volcanoes, the cities. When you visit Costa Rica you understand why their most famous saying and national greeting is “Pura Vida,” or “Pure Life!”

My trip started in Washington, D.C. as I boarded a flight to Atlanta and then from Atlanta to the capital San Jose. We stayed at a hotel near La Sabana Metropolitan Park downtown — the country’s largest urban park that is enjoyed by the residents of San Jose. Costa Rica’s main international airport was located at the park for 44 years until the opening of Juan Santamaría International Airport.

Also located at La Sabana is the National Stadium of Costa Rica (Estadio Nacional de Costa Rica), which was completed in 2011 and is the first modern sport and event arena built in Central America. The 35,175-seat capacity stadium serves as the home of the Costa Rican national football team. The Ticos shocked the soccer world at this summer’s Brazilian World Cup by becoming the Cinderella team. They posted their best performance ever at a World Cup by finishing first in their group that consisted of powerhouses Uruguay, Italy and England. They then went on to beat Greece in penalty kicks to reach the quarterfinals for the first time in the nation’s history where they lost to The Netherlands also in a penalty shootout.

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Estadio Nacional de Costa Rica

We were on a Jewish tour so we celebrated Shabbat in San Jose at a warm and welcoming congregation called Congregation B’nei Israel that is a liberal synagogue affiliated with both the Reform and Conservative movements. The rabbi gave a powerful sermon on the new anti-Semitism that has even made its way to Latin America and it was somber because another rabbi had lost her mother that same day. There was also a joyous farewell to a congregation member who was moving her family to North Carolina.

The next day we visited the heavily fortified Shaarei Zion synagogue and Jewish museum. Shaarei Zion is orthodox and the museum documents the rich history of Jews in Costa Rica. The place was a compound with lots security that was likely increased because at that time the conflict was raging between Israel and Hamas. It is a beautiful synagogue and museum and I highly recommend it if you are Jewish and decide to visit San Jose.

We also took a trip just outside of San Jose to Poas Volcano National Park, which climbs to 2,300 meters above sea level. The clouds had rolled in and it was rainy and misty so we couldn’t see the Poas Volcano Crater Lake. Our wonderful guide Gustavo then took us to an authentic Costa Rican family style restaurant for some delicious food.

After a night out dancing at a San Jose area nightclub, we boarded the bus for the trip to the Caribbean lowlands, lunch in Guapiles and then the rocky and muddy jungle roads to the small dock called Pavona where we boarded a boat for the the trip down the canals to our destination of Tortuguero in the middle of the jungle. Our eco lodge Rana Roja (Red Frog) is only accessible by boat.

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Tortuguero

We were woken up early in the morning by the sound of howler monkeys as we were surrounded by all the jungle animal and plant life. We took an early morning jungle boat ride and saw crocodiles, birds, monkeys and other flora and fauna. We also visited the funky main town of Tortuguero and the Sea Turtle Conservancy where we learned about the international efforts to save the turtles and preserve the egg nests from poachers. There was an optional late night tour to see the female green or Leatherback turtles lay their eggs, but I got sick and stayed in my cabin to recover. We called it the man flu because only the guys were getting sick. While it was awful getting sick in the middle of the jungle, it eventually passed after a couple of days and I fully recovered.

Next was a more than three hour boat ride on the inter-coastal canal to the port of Moin. The water was very shallow and the boat got stuck a few times and had to be manually pushed. One time the water was too shallow to pass so our captain ventured out into the open waters of the Caribbean and we nearly made it before a huge wave came crashing into our exposed boat and got everyone soaking wet including our luggage. Part of the adventure! Right!? Right? Uh. Yeah?

At Moin we boarded another bus for the short trip to the historic port city of Limon, the largest city on Costa Rica’s Caribbean coast. Our guide David Carnegie told us about the Afro-Caribbean heritage of Limon and we had a wonderful lunch at an Afro-Caribbean restaurant in the heart of Limon.

We then headed to the bohemian village of Puerto Viejo where many Europeans take holiday (most Americans stay on the more luxurious Pacific side). In the late afternoon/early evening we headed to beautiful Punta Uva Beach.

The next day we visited the KèköLdi Indigenous Territory to learn about the indigenous BriBrí and Cabécar cultures and their efforts to preserve and rehabilitate iguanas. We then went to a traditional indigenous village where we witnessed a family make chocolate from the Cacao trees growing beside their house. The organic hot chocolate was the best I have ever tasted in my life. It was a spiritual experience.

KèköLdi Indigenous Territory

KèköLdi Indigenous Territory

We also visited Volio waterfall. We had to hike down to reach the powerful waterfall and then swam against the powerful currents to reach underneath the waterfall and feel the power of the falling water.

At the Jaguar Rescue Center in Puerto Viejo we saw sloths, snakes, owls, birds, horses and other species representing the diversity of animal life in Costa Rica. We even got to handle an adorable baby monkey.

There is an excellent Israeli restaurant in Puerto Viejo where we had some hummus and other Middle Eastern food which was a welcome break from the constant rice and black beans (gallo pinto) that is served with every dish in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. The next night we took a Caribbean cooking class with Junior Palmer. We ate delicious food, drank to warm our bellies and listened to soothing Jamaican reggae music to warm our souls.

The next day our guide Tino took us on an amazing hike through the Gandoca Manzanillo Wildlife Refuge where I ate termites, had a spider weave its web on our heads, ate the healing Noni pear, had a piece of the biggest fruit in the world, saw the walking tree, tree frogs, the bullet ant that should be avoided at all costs, thousands of leaf cutter ants constructing their intricate city in the middle of the forest, lizards, monkeys, sloths and other species of flora and fauna that are only found in the rainforest. After the intense hike, we relaxed in the warm Caribbean waters and had a wonderful laid back lunch in this place that time forgot.

The next day was white water rafting the spectacular Pacuare River, which National Geographic rated as one of the top ten rafting rivers in the world. We started in the Caribbean highlands and made our way down the river, encountering class three and four rapids and enjoying the pristine nature and gorgeous natural scenery of one of the most breathtaking areas in the world. We even took a dip in the clean, pristine water between the challenging rapids. The run was 18 miles long and took about three-and-a-half hours thanks to expert leadership from our guide Monkey.

Pacuare River

Our final destination before heading to San Jose and our flights home was Arenal Volcano, a region in the northwest of Costa Rica. We went zip lining, went on a hike for panoramic vistas of Arenal Volcano and Lake Arenal and visited the therapeutic hot springs resort.

Costa Rica is simply amazing. The natural beauty is only matched by the warmth and generosity of their people. Pura Vida. Pure Life. It is not just a greeting but a way of life. You will have to experience it yourself to truly understand what it means.

 

 Journalist Josh Marks writes about his experiences traveling to different places around the world.

 

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The DC Dreidel Championship

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TMI! – GTJ Dating Series with Erika E. (No. 99)

People don’t seem to shy away from sharing things about themselves these days. What may have seemed overindulgent a mere 10 years ago now seems commonplace. After driving back from NJ for Thanksgiving and listening to all eight episodes of a podcast in succession, I wrote a tweet that said, “May or may not have just listened to every single episode of @abexlumberg‘s @podcaststartup in a row. #bingelistening Even my dog likes it.” Some people might still think, “Who cares?” But you know what? They still read what I wrote. The voyeur in us all eats this stuff up.

With Twitter and Facebook and Instagram (oh my!) and GChat and texting and Snapchat, it’s almost impossible not to overshare. When it comes to dating, though, there’s a fine line between an appropriate amount of sharing and simply too much information. I’m going to break things down into several key stages: 

Classic Case 1 of TMI:

I was at my weekly mahjong game this week, and my friend Jennie was talking about a guy she had “met” online. They did not go on a date. Here’s what happened:<br

  1. They matched on the dating app Hinge.
  2. He messaged her to say hi.
  3. She responded.
  4. He asked if she had any more photos to send (red flag).
  5. She said she didn’t.
  6. He asked if she wanted to see any more pictures of him.
  7. She said no.
  8. He sent pictures anyway, including a shirtless selfie.
  9. She was so turned off that not only did he not listen to her but he also sent the shirtless picture. She ultimately decided not to go on the date.

Classic Case 2 of TMI:

About six months ago, I went on a date with someone I had matched with on Tinder. He seemed nice enough, albeit not my type, and we had an enjoyable conversation… until he mentioned his ex-wife. Now, I’m certainly not one to care if someone’s been married before. In fact, sometimes I think it may be a preference since, as we all know, people often learn from their mistakes. I didn’t ask any questions about that relationship because it’s really not my business. Without any prompting, he proceeded to tell me all of these negative things about his ex and how she made him miserable, in addition to telling me that she had a mental illness.  A few thoughts immediately went through my mind:

– He’s not over her.

– If he speaks that poorly of her, what would he say about me?

– He shares very personal information about other people with strangers.

While I was certainly flattered that he felt comfortable enough to share this information with me, it was completely inappropriate in that setting (at a bar, mind you), and, while we ddidn’thave enough in common to warrant another date anyway, the fact that there was TMI solidified that decision for me.

Now, I want to draw a distinction here between being yourself (do it right away!) and the TMI advice. They are not mutually exclusive.  For example, I’ve been known to dance in the middle of the room whenever I feel like it. Someone needs to see that side of me up front.  That’s my essence, if you will.  But sharing with someone that I have bad breath because I just ate Sabra’s garlic hummus?  Probably TMI.

After the stages in the chart above, how much information to share becomes up to the two people involved. Feel out the situation. Get to know each other. And then go crazy with the pictures and the deeply personal information. Just wait until the time is right.

1Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge and author of Love at First Site, available on Amazon.  Her work has been seen on NPR, Talk Philly, The Washington Post, and more.  To join her mailing list for tips and events, please join here.

 

 

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Jewish Guy of the Week – Rich

Want to recommend an outstanding leader to be featured on GTJ? Nominate him/her at rgildiner@gatherthejews.com.

unnamedRachel: What brought you to DC? 

Rich: I went to grad school in Baltimore and came to DC for my amazing Adas job. So glad I did—this city is the bomb.com.

Rachel: So you’re from Morristown, NJ but you love the New York Rangers.  How does that work? 

Rich: Are you suggesting there is another hockey team in NJ worth rooting for??

Rachel: Did you play hockey as a kid? What got you into it? 

Rich: I started playing hockey when I was 7 and it immediately stuck with me. Hockey has become a huge part of my life and I’ve learned much of what it means to be a part of a team and how to work well with others from it.

Rachel: What is your favorite part of your job as Youth Director at Adas Israel? 

unnamed (2) Rich: I love showing youth & teens that life can still (literally) be fun and games well into your 20’s. Life is tough and can seem intimidating when you’re young, and I like to think I can help dissipate some of the fear of growing up by providing fun programming, meaningful life discussions, and just being someone who they can talk to about anything.

Rachel: What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind after a busy day? 

Rich: There’s nothing like a nice long run to reflect after a hard day’s work. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the occasional glass of white wine every now and then too.

Rachel: What’s your favorite way to spend Shabbat? 

Rich: Back in Baltimore my friends and I created what we call “Vegan Shabbat”. We cook a bunch of vegan foods, crack open a couple bottles of wine, light the candles, and just talk and enjoy each other’s company. Usually some Jenga, Apples to Apples, or a puzzle finds their way into the evening before it ends.

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Rachel: What is your favorite Jewish food?

Rich: FALAFEL. #obsessed

Rachel: Who is the coolest Jew?

Rich: Marcy Spiro.

Rachel: Finish the sentence: When the Jews gather…

Rich: I’m most likely there.

 

 

 

 

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Get Straight To The Date – GTJ Dating Series with Erika E. (No. 98)

cute-puffer-fish-clipart-fish_swimming_underneath_a_worm_on_a_hook_0515-1007-0603-5561_SMUI was sitting at lunch the other day talking to a friend of mine about her online dating experience so far, and she mentioned a situation that sounded all too familiar: A gentleman contacted her, he sounded amazing, he looked extremely attractive, he happened to be out of town, he wanted to talk on the phone (but never Skype), he had no online footprint… and then he asked what bank account she used.  Luckily, she was smart enough to realize that he was inviting her into a trap, but not all people are.

It’s easy to fall in love with someone’s online dating profile, isn’t it?  The ultimate goal, of course, is to meet in person.  JDate even lists all of the options that one might look for, from a friend to an activity partner to a spouse.  OkCupid lists everything from casual sex to a long-term relationship.  People don’t join online dating sites to simply email (or text) back and forth with no end in sight.  In other words, don’t have ane-lationship.”

The best way to manage online dating is to schedule a date (coffee or a drink) after just a few emails/texts back and forth, because chemistry is next to impossible to gauge over email.  In fact, I don’t even recommend talking on the phone before a first online date.  Someone might be great on the phone and a dud in person or a bore on the phone and fabulous in person.  The point is that you never know whether you’ll have chemistry (which I call the “wild card”) until you actually meet, and no number of emails or calls will change that.  With too much pre-date communication, there are two types of risk:

The risk of ruling someone out before even meeting, perhaps because of the phone call/excess emails or maybe because you simply lost the momentum.

The risk of falling in love with this person’s online persona without much basis.

Of course, many people don’t know when it’s appropriate to move from the email to the date and err on the side of caution (aka waiting too long), so in this case, I recommend saying something like, “I’m really enjoying these emails.  Should we meet for a drink next week?  I’m free Monday or Wednesday if either works for you.”  If the recipient takes the bait or suggests a different day, then you know this person wants to meet.  If the answer is simply no (or there’s no answer), then it’s time to move on.  If someone is perpetually busy, then he or she either really has no time to date (a problem) or is trying to get out of meeting in person for some reason (a bigger problem).  If meeting in person is not feasible—perhaps you don’t live close enough to meet in a timely fashion—then the best thing to do is to suggest that you Skype or FaceTime.  It takes just as long to dial someone’s number and chat for a few minutes as it does to sit down and email each other, so if someone declines this offer, that is a major red flag.

My advice?  Meet offline as soon as you can.  If you plan the first date quickly and like each other, that’s great—you’ll have more time to spend together!  If you don’t have that connection, you can move on without investing more of your time.  Don’t be the next story on Catfish: The TV Show.

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Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people navigate the world of online dating, and author of Love at First Site.  Want to connect with Erika?  Join her newsletter for updates and tips.

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The Hungry Hungry Hebrew: Traveling in Kosher-style

maxb2As a traveling Jew who keeps somewhat kosher, I too often find myself fumbling through my local dictionary to figure out how to say, “I don’t want bacon on my apple”. Now, I’m not the type who really cares how his steak was slaughtered, but I do strictly abide by the ancient, holy laws of “kosher style” (no shellfish and swine for this boy from Palestine but cheeseburger me to death).

Keeping this modicum is especially difficult to abide by in the Spanish speaking world, where being both Jewish and nourished seem mutually exclusive. If my forays into Spain, Argentina, Costa Rica, and Uruguay taught me nothing else, it’s that “meat” means “pork”, that “rice and beans” means “rice and beans and pork”, and that anything off the breakfast menu means a couple of eggs and twelve pounds of pig.

The Latin countries have perfected the art of sneaking in some kind of cud-chewing animal appendage into your every meal, snack, and drink. Go anywhere near a sandwich shop or pizza place in Latin America and you’re certain to find some sort of pork bread, bacon crust, or ham napkins. They use pork as an ingredient like we use salt. For example, the menu at your favorite burger joint up the street typically lists ground beef, lettuce, and tomato between buns – noting nothing about salt. So why should the omelet you order in Argentina list the giant hunk of hammaxb3 enveloping it?

Spain is the worst offender, where every block has a Museo de Jamon (that’s a “ham museum” for you gringos). Known locally as “Spanish McDonalds”, each of these pork factories are decorated with forests of pig legs dangling from rafters as hungry, rushing masses of crucifix-laden Spaniards gobble them to the bone.

Seriously, even Spanish Ruffles are “ham flavored” (seriously).

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The worst part is, this isn’t some ancient cultural taste preference introduced by bands of pig-eating Iberian invaders thousands of years ago. Nor is it the product of some sort of chaotic pig population explosion. Rather, the pork obsession was imposed into Spanish culture during the Inquisition to keep the Jews away. The swine’s strong showing today indicates either the Spanish still really love their pork or they still really don’t like their Jews (probably more the bacon than the anti-Semitism).

So, for all of you kosher-styling, sojourning Jews out there, my Frommers(stein) guide to warding off anorexia in España and anywhere below America’s belt consists of learning three phrases:

Sin puerco

Sin jamon

Lay’s, por favor

 

 

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After my first birthright trip, I was stricken with the terrible genetic disease known as “wanderlust” – passed down to me by my great32 grandfather, Moses. Hungry, Hungry Hebrew captures my benign observations disguised as rants as I meander around the world

 

 

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Mystery Science Shabbat 3000: 11/21 Invite Science to your Shabbat Dinner Table!

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Mystery Science Shabbat 3000: Friday, November 21 Invite Science to your Shabbat Dinner Table!
Join a DC Metro area community-wide night of Science Shabbat potluck dinners hosted in the homes of volunteers. Everyone brings a dish BUT each dish must come with a science explanation and/or demonstration associated with it. It’s fun! It’s creative! It’s social! And it’s Science!
Go to www.scienceshabbat.com for more info and to sign up by November 13th!
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GTJ December Happy Hour!

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GTJ December Happy Hour – 12/1

buttonGather the Jew’s December Happy Hour!

Join us on December 1, 2014 from 6-9 PM at Blackfinn Ameripub!

For more info check out our Facebook event page!

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Is “Ghosting” the New Post-It Note? – GTJ Dating Series with Erika E. (No. 97)

Cute-ghosts

In the days before texting and Tinder, there was actual talking and the art of the real, in-person conversation. Even on Sex and The City, when Berger broke up with Carrie on a (dare I say it?) Post-it note, it was viewed as terrible form. And it was.

So, why now, do people think it’s okay to not even give someone the courtesy of the measly Post-it note? Some people are doing what has been termed “ghosting,” just up and leaving a relationship without having the courtesy to tell your significant other that you’re, well, up and leaving. Some people called it “the fade-away,” some call it the “disappearing act,” and some have called it “falling off the earth.” What do I call it? Rudeness, cowardice, and selfishness, for starters.

There was an article in Huffington Post the other day called ‘Ghosting:’ The 21st-Century Dating Problem Everyone Talks About, But No One Knows How To Deal With. It talked about this phenomenon and how people are simply disappearing because that seems easier than breaking up with someone. It even happened to a friend of mine after over a year of dating someone.

She got an email from her boyfriend saying that he was going through a rough patch. She, as a dutiful girlfriend, said that she’d, of course, be there for him. And that was the last time he ever spoke to her. Her only remaining remnant was her Facebook profile photo, which she promptly took down in first confusion and then disappointment.

With the ubiquitous use of modern technology—text, GChat, Hinge, Tinder, What’s App, Google Voice, OkCupid—it’s almost too easy to think of people as disposable, just as the technology that once was so novel and exciting is now a bit older and less exciting. But people are not things. People have feelings. For that reason alone, you need to buck up and have an actual, real conversation, whether you’ve been on three dates or 300.

While there are no specific rules, this is what I recommend:

After one date

If you mutually do not want to see each other again, then no follow-up is necessary. If, however, one person asks the other out again, and the second party does not want to go, then the best option is to say something to the effect of, “Thank you so much for a nice time the other night. I’m, unfortunately, not feeling that connection that I’m looking for, but I wish you the best of luck.”

After two to three dates

Given that you’ve now spent at least several hours together, it is best to acknowledge that there will not be any future dates. “I think you’re great, and I’ve been having a lot of fun with you, but I unfortunately don’t see this going forward romantically. Some guy/gal will be very lucky to find you!” Email or phone is fine for this.

After four or more dates but before being exclusive

I have the same advice here as the two to three date guidance, but this should really be a conversation where you can hear each other’s voices, either over the phone or in person.

In an exclusive relationship

The only way to break up with someone when you’re in an exclusive relationship, barring

distance, is in person. Period.

Writing about the subject in The Date Report in May, reporter Sara Ashley O’Brien explained that ghosting just prolongs the time it takes to get over someone:

“A simple acknowledgment of an appreciation for the time we did spend together, ‘Hey, I had a fun few dates with you but I don’t think we’re right for each other beyond that,’ would provide so much more closure. It’s always a blow, but you can get over it in a few days. When the ghost disappears, you spend the first few days wondering when you’re going to get a text back and then weeks trying to figure out what went wrong.”

Greg Behrendt of He’s Just Not That Into You fame disagrees, saying, “It’s simple, and there’s no need to contemplate the many ‘reasons’ a date is unresponsive. When someone’s not texting you and you see they’ve read your text, then you should really get it.”

Here’s the difference. While someone might get it, he or she does not deserve it. Greg goes on to say that when you’re tired of something, like a movie or a sports team, you just walk away. He’s turning people into objects. People are not things. We have feelings and emotions and limited time to sit around and wait to see if our love interest is going to contact us again in the next three days… or ever.

Some people rationalize their “ghosting” behavior by saying that they are trying to spare the other person’s feelings by not sharing the truth. If that’s what makes you sleep at night, then fine, but we all know that’s a big load of you-know-what.

The moral of the story is to own up to your actions, take a little discomfort in the present (telling someone how you feel) for a future of knowing you’re an upstanding person who doesn’t hurt others to spare yourself. I’ve seen too many incidents of this happen with friends and clients. Don’t be a culprit, and I certainly hope you’re not a victim. Just be a good person, have fun with dating, and when it’s over, just have the courtesy to let the person you’re seeing in on your decision.

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Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people navigate the world of online dating, and author of Love at First Site.  Want to connect with Erika?  Join her newsletter for updates and tips.

 

 

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Jewish Guy of the Week – Adam

unnamed (2)Want to recommend an outstanding leader to be featured on GTJ? Nominate him/her at rgildiner@gatherthejews.com.

Rachel: So you’re from LA. What was your favorite part of living on the west coast?

Adam: Time seems to slow down on the west coast. It may be just that being on the west coast means I’m not at work, which tends to speed things up, but I think there’s something to it. Life seems to fly by whenever I’m somewhere else. Its something in the air I guess.

What brought you to DC and what do you love about it?

Adam: DC… the land of young professionals with IR backgrounds (if you don’t know what IR stands for, you don’t belong here). Like so many others I came to get a job in this field.

I love the constant supply of fun, usually free activities going around the city. You can find me at the concerts at the park, yoga on rooftops, drum circles, museum parties, festivals, and so on.

Rachel: We heard you served in Peace Corps in Ukraine. Could you tell us more about that?

Adam: Where to start!? I could say this: Peace Corps was an amazing, transformative experience in my life. Ukrainians are the nicest and most welcoming people I’ve ever met. They welcomed me  into their communities with open arms.

It was challenging at times. Definitely colder than the sunny California weather I grew up with. unnamedSomehow I managed to plan and teach seven classes a day, organize 3 English clubs, and pull off a seminar on teaching methodologies in my short time at site, so it was nice to see something kind of concrete come out of the whole experience.

My experience in Ukraine was unfortunately cut short. I was evacuated due to the conflict that broke out there. I hope I was able to make a difference, even if in a small way. I’ve gained personally tremendously in ways I could never possibly give back.

Rachel: You’re a Moishe resident and you run the House’s Hebrew Speakers’ Meetup.  What made you want to start that group and what’s it like?

Adam: So the group is just starting to form. I had my first event last month in our Moishe House Sukkah. It was awesome 100% because of the people that came. Five or Six bottles of Israeli wine and we were all singing songs in Hebrew and I suddenly became fluent. Or at least so I thought…

The inspiration behind it was simple. My mom is Israeli, so coming out to DC I really wanted to join a Hebrew club to practice my language skills. I did some research, and although there are some pretty
unnamed (1)awesome clubs out there, I didn’t find that right meet-up geared towards twenty-some-year olds, so I decided to start my own! This Sunday we’re having an Israeli movie night and an Israeli brunch on the 16th! Spread the word!

Rachel: What’s your favorite way to spend Shabbat?

Adam: With family and no plans in the world.

Rachel: What is your favorite Jewish food?

Adam: Mom’s Moroccan salmon. Not inherently Jewish, but it counts since we only have it on Shabbat!

Rachel: Finish the sentence: When the Jews gather…

Adam: The kevethching begins. 

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Share Your Voice – GTJ Seeking Newsletter Contributors!

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Gather the Jews is looking for volunteer contributors to our weekly newsletter! Want to cover local news, blog from Jewish events, share information about local Jewish businesses, or whatever’s on your mind?

E-mail Rachel to submit a piece or discuss possibilities!

 

 

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Are You Obsessed with Online Dating? – GTJ Dating Series with Erika E. (No. 96)

For many people, online dating is a means to an end. A person wants to, say, end up in a long-term relationship. So, he or she goes on a site like JDate or OkCupid or Coffee Meets Bagel, dates any number of people, truly connects with one, and decides to ultimately cancel his or her account. Success! (Of course, some people don’t want a long-term relationship, in which case, Tinder away!)

Then, there are other people who send messages day in and day out trying to see just how many dates they can line up. They know that if Monday’s date doesn’t work out, then Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s are right on the horizon. To be clear, I’m all for dating multiple

people to see who the best fit is, but once you find that person, cool it with the every-five-minute log-ins. As a college boyfriend of mine said at the ripe old age of 21, “There’s another bus around the corner.” As you might imagine, that’s not exactly what you want to hear from your significant other. Thanks, Geoff. ;)

If you are, in fact, looking for something serious or long-term, then you might want to assess whether you’re actually looking for the best mate for you (A-okay) or whether you’re kind of obsessed with the process of online dating, getting a case of “Grass is Greener Syndrome.”

A client of mine recently asked me this question:

“How do I manage two women and the launch of a promising relationship with one of them, while at the same time protecting myself if things don’t work out?

Things with Sherry (name changed) are really going well; we communicate all day and have several dates lined up. As she wrote, ‘I’m really looking forward to getting to know you to see if we have the basis for a long-term relationship. So far, so good.’ But there are no guarantees and I’ve been blindsided before.”

This happens all the time. Things are going well with one person, but you want to “protect” yourself in case it doesn’t pan out. How are people protecting themselves these days? They’re doing it with the shield of online dating. This shield provides the comfort that someone else (another bus, if you will) is out there for you should the budding romance not work out.

Many people use this online dating shield as a way of making themselves feel special again simply by logging back on to see the other eligible bachelors or bachelorettes. It makes them keep wondering if there is someone even better out there and often unable to recognize a great fit when that person may be sitting right next to them.

Online dating sites are not blind to this, either. While they, of course, want to promote their success stories, they also allow you to reactivate your account with one simple click. While that’s great if things don’t work out, it’s almost too easy to go back on “just to see,” or worse, out of spite.

Online dating is amazing for the options it provides—getting to meet people whose paths you wouldn’t normally cross—but I wouldn’t recommend using these options to the detriment of having a new relationship blossom, which is usually the goal to begin with! Wouldn’t you want to get off the site and not keep making plans to get back on?

My job is to help people put their best foot forward when online dating, either through working with me individually or through reading my book, but the job is supposed to have an end point—my client meeting someone with whom he or she is compatible. I don’t want you to online date forever! I want you to online date effectively so you can meet wonderful people, one of whom may just be exactly what you’re looking for.

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Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people navigate the world of online dating, and author of Love at First Site.  Want to connect with Erika?  Join her newsletter for updates and tips.

 

 

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