Blog

0

HaLev 2nd Annual Welcome Event – Feb. 28th ****Over 380 tickets sold!***Get yours today! Opening Remarks by Hillel Neuer, Executive Director of UN Watc

0

5 Can’t-Miss Movies at the 25th Washington Jewish Film Festival

You-Must-Be-Joking-Movie-Header-ImageRumor has it that the new Star Wars movie will not be released until December, but luckily, the Washington DC Jewish Community Center anticipated this cinematic lull. Thanks to the Washington Jewish Film Festival (WJFF), February 19 – March 1, 2015, date nights are no longer restricted to the perfunctory dinner out – WJFF will celebrate its 25th anniversary with you in mind.

The festival features 11 days of dynamic film programming, showcasing the best of international cinema through a distinctly Jewish lens. Throughout the festival, audiences will be treated to more than 100 screenings and related events across the Washington area, including cultural and educational events to complement viewings.

Hosted by the Washington DCJCC, this year’s milestone festival features: world, East Coast, and mid-Atlantic premieres; an exciting roster of filmmaker and cast appearances; and an exquisitely curated line-up of screenings, festivities, and more.

This year’s WJFF will feature over 100 events and draw more than 12,000 attendees, maintaining WJFF’s reputation as one of the largest and most respected Jewish film festivals in North America.

But, with so much to do and so little time, we are here to help ensure you don’t miss the festival’s highlights. Get out your calendars; here are the 5 movies you don’t want to miss this year:

1) You Must Be Joking, an American film also premiering at WJFF, follows an aimless 27-year-old paralegal trying to break into the New York comedy scene. “Broad City” standout Hannibal Buress completes this quirky feel-good comedy that asks the question: What makes you so happy you giggle? You can check this movie out on Thursday, February 26 at 6:30pm at the DCJCC, or on Saturday, February 28 at 6:30pm at the Goethe Institut.

Gather the Jews is going to see the February 26th showing of You Must Be Joking! We have 20 discounted tickets for $10, sign up here!

2) 24 Days, which will host its mid-Atlantic premiere at the festival, narrates the kidnapping of Ilan Halimi, a 23-year-old Parisian Jew of Moroccan descent, based on a book co-written by the victim’s mother. The film captures the reality of anti-Semitic crime through the experience of Ilan’s family. In light of the recent tragedy in France, 24 Days underscores

3) Casting Out features a series of films that examine outcasts of every variety, whether by birth, circumstance, or choice. Breaking both societies’ expectations and yours, this film has earned its praise. This series of short films will be screening at the Goethe Institut near Gallery Place on Saturday, February 21 at 8:30pm.

One of the short films 7 – Day Gig:

4) Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem shares the story of an Israeli woman trapped in a loveless marriage appealing to the rabbinical court for a divorce in spite of her husband’s refusals.  This film brilliantly uncovers the peculiar nature of marriage in Israel, where neither civil marriage nor civil divorce exists. Nominated by Israel for the Best Foreign Language Film Academy Aware, Gett: The Trial of Viviane Amsalem will leave you baffled and intrigued. You can see Gett at the Avalon Theatre on Wednesday, February 25 at 8:45pm.

5) Next To Her, another Israeli film hitting this year’s festival, features the story of a woman raising her mentally disabled sister by herself until a romantic interest enters the picture and challenges the sisters’ once-symbiotic relationship. With mesmerizing performances from two female leads, Next To Her will also be hosting its Mid-Atlantic Premiere at this year’s festival, screening at the AFI Silver Theater on Monday, February 23 at 7:15pm, at the Abramsom Family Recital Hall at American University on Thursday, February 26 at 8:10pm and at the JCC of Greater Washington (Rockville) on Saturday, February 28 at 6:45pm.

These 5 movies are must-sees for this festival season, but they are certainly not all that WJFF has to offer. Whether you want to bring a date or come with friends – there is a movie for every occasion. There’s no need to wait for the next big blockbuster when WJFF brings the best in international film right to your backyard! Tickets are on sale now at www.wjff.org.

0

Does Online Dating Make Longer Lasting Relationships?

Someone posederika e-1368 (1) this question to me yesterday: Does online dating create more long-lasting relationships than the “real world” does?  I pondered this for a second and decided to do some research.  I found that there are many differing views.  Since it is just about impossible to hold all else equal (the actual people, where they live, age, religion, personality, marriage history, etc.), it is difficult to conclude, ceteris paribus (ah, my economics degree strikes again), whether the longevity of a relationship is based at all on how the two people met, online or otherwise.

One article detailing the results of a 2013 study by researchers at University of Chicago’s Department of Psychology and Harvard University’s Department of Epidemiology found that online dating leads to higher marriage satisfaction and thereby a lower divorce rate.  The researchers addressed the question of marital satisfaction in a nationally representative sample of 19,131 respondents who got married between 2005 and 2012.  Results indicate that more than one-third of marriages in America now begin online.  Not too shabby!  In addition, the study shows that marriages that started online, when compared with those that began through traditional offline venues, were slightly less likely to result in a marital breakup (separation or divorce) and were associated with slightly higher marital satisfaction among those respondents who remained married.  The lead author, John Cacioppo, says about the results, “It is possible that individuals who met their spouse online may be different in personality, motivation to form a long-term marital relationship, or some other factor,” so there may be more here than meets the eye.

One rather large caveat with this study is that it was funded by none other than online dating site eHarmony, so I can’t say whether or not any bias on that site’s part was introduced, but I’m guessing it wasn’t ignored, either.  I think the best outcome of this study was to show that 35% of marriages now begin online.  Boy, have we come a long way!

Aditi Paul, a PhD candidate at Michigan State, did a study this past year claiming quite the opposite, but ultimately differentiating people’s outcomes by their intentions.  Her abstract says that previous studies, including the one I mentioned above, have primarily looked at marital relationships. Her study extends this investigation by including non-marital relationships in the comparison.  It investigates if the breakup rate of relationships (both marital and non-marital) varies as a result of meeting online versus offline, and if other factors outside of the meeting venue predict relationship dissolution.  (Please take note that neither she nor I use the word “failure” since a marriage or relationship ending can, of course, be the best and only choice for the couple.)

Data is used from a nationally representative survey of 4,002 respondents.  (This to me does not sound statistically significant, but perhaps she had her reasons for keeping the sample size smaller.)  Her data found that the breakup rates for both marital and non-marital romantic relationships were higher for couples who met online than couples who met offline.  Obviously the actual quality and duration of the relationship turned out to also be significant factors that predicted if couples would stay together or break up.

Some conclusions in this Huffington Post piece on her study are:

  • It may be easy to meet people online—but it’s just as easy to break up.
  • Online dating also might make you less likely to end up married.
  • If you’re looking for love online, try to remember that more choices aren’t always a good thing.

Paul’s final comments are less scientific and more in line with the advice I would give as a dating coach.  She says not to get bogged down by all of the choices and become too distracted to commit to one person, especially if you’re looking for a committed relationship.  “What I’d encourage is once you find a partner, delete your profile and give it some time,” she said. “Nothing can replace the old-tested principles of time and intimacy and letting things develop.”  Preach!

In the end, online dating is simply another way to meet new people.  Whether the breakup/divorce rate is higher or lower is less relevant than the fact that there are now so many more relationships that form because of online dating, and that in itself is very significant.  What it ultimately comes down to are the two people involved, the quality of their relationship, and—perhaps most importantly—their communication skills, regardless of whether they met online or not.

 

Erika Ettin is the author of Love at First Site and the founder of A Little Nudge.  Like what you read?  Join the mailing list for monthly articles, news, and dating tips.

0

Meet the Jewish Girl of the Week Alex

Alex 3Jackie: What brought you to DC?

Alex: My family and I are originally from DC. After I graduated from Old Dominion University (located in Norfolk, VA) I decided DC would be the best place to look for work and cultivate my career considering I am interested in politics and law. One of these days I plan on attending law school in the DC area. I know that you just came back from Birthright, was this your first time in Israel? This was my first time in Israel and I fully intend on going back as much as possible!

Jackie: What made you decide to go now?

Alex: I had always intended on going and I felt like now would be the best time to capitalize on the experience. I felt like I was at an age that I could fully comprehend and appreciate everything that these birthright trips have to offer.

Jackie: What was your favorite moment from the trip?

Alex 4Alex: I would have to say climbing Masada to witness the sunrise. It was certainly a difficult feat climbing on the way up but once we got to the top to witness the sunrise and learn about to history of Masada the climb was completely worth it. Ialso had my bat mitzvah on top of Masada since I never had one when I was younger. It was incredible to have that experience in Israel along side so many amazing people that have now become life long friends.

Jackie: Did you make new connections on your trip?

Alex: I made multiple connections on this trip with those from the DC area as well as the Israelis that were on the trip with us the whole time. I never knew I could grow so close with so many people in such a short amount of time. We have actually all stayed in constant contact through social media and the DC residents have been getting together on the weekends a lot.

Jackie: What’s your favorite way to spend Shabbat?

Alex: I like to go to Friday night service and get together with friends for dinner and wine after. I try to stay as restful as possible on Saturday’s but I generally end up having to run errands due to my busy schedule during the week.

UntitledJackie: What is your favorite Jewish food?

Alex: Sticking to my Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry I am naturally obsessed with matzo ball soup. Anytime it’s really cold out or I’m sick I will make a fresh pot of matzo ball soup from scratch. I took my grandma’s recipe and tweaked it just a little bit.

Jackie: Who is your favorite Jew?

Alex: Golda Meir by a long shot. She is the epitome of a strong willed Jewish woman paving the way not only Jews but women as well. Golda Meir constantly fought for the betterment and fundamental rights of Jews and Israel. For example, she single handedly raised $50 million in 1948 to purchase weapons to protect the young country even though everyone told her it was not possible. Persevering and protecting her people are things she constantly clung to which is truly admirable.

 

Jackie: Finish the sentence: When the Jews gather…

Alex: There will most certainly be constant chatting and eating! The feeling of community is emitted at all times.

 

Registration for Birthright’s next community trip is now open! Click here to apply.

0

Introducing Identity Lab

IdentityLab_LOGOB-300x157We’re starting something new at Sixth & I. It’s called Identity Lab. It’s a chance to get to know other people by hearing their stories, and to discover something about ourselves through studying Jewish stories. We’ll learn something amazing together—Joseph and his crazy family, the history of how bar and bat mitzvahs got quite so over the top, Moses Maimonides and why he loved the life of the mind—and then take that learning to see how it matches our own lives and our own personal history. Local artist (of incredible talent) Rachel Farbiarz and I will create an open, welcoming, interesting, collaborative learning environment. You’ll get to learn, and then investigate, interrogate, think about, and, ultimately—only if you want to—tell your own stories at a live show.

I have a story of my own to tell you. I was born with a lisp, which stuck with me through elementary school. My parents took me to a speech therapist; I used to get pulled out of classes once a week to repeat sibilant syllables over and over into a tape recorder. My first name starts with “S,” so I creatively mispronounced my own name for a good five years.

The thing about having a lisp is that your tongue doesn’t move quite as fast as your brain, at least quite as fast as it should. When you start to speak, to speed into the fast lane of daily conversation, your tongue jumps, trips, then stumbles. I’d find myself verbally sprawled out on the asphalt. My tongue always landed me a step behind, and I learned to not quite trust my own talking.

Moses had a speech impediment, too. In fact, he’s famous for it. And when I read the verses that Moses says to God, I feel that rare, rock-solid sense of recognition: “For I am heavy of speech and heavy of tongue.” I know what that’s like, not that a person can’t speak, but that he doesn’t trust his ability to keep speaking.

God’s answer to him is a good one, though—a zinger: “Who made people’s mouths?,” the Holy One asks wryly. God did. God created the impediment. “Now go, and I will be with your mouth, and will teach you what to say.”

What I learned is that one doesn’t teach with the mouth; one teaches with the message. The speech, the talking, the rhetoric, the form—they don’t quite matter as much as we think they do. It’s the message that counts; it’s the message that matters.

RabbiScottPerloHeadshotWEBLike for Moses, you do not need to come to Identity Lab and be the most articulate speaker, or tell the wittiest anecdote, or have the funniest tale. Identity Lab is about finding a message, uncovering something important about yourself, and then sharing it with other people. The Torah that we study together will help give you words and a frame of reference to better understand yourself. Tell or listen, share from your life or help other people share from theirs—you will find a message that means something to you.

 

Our workshops begin Wednesday, February 4th. Join us to enrich your Jewish identity and be part of the story.

0

The Million Dollar Apple

The four of us young professional men huddled together nervously by the metro stop, thwarting the evening winds with designer top coats.

“How do we do this?” we looked to each other for any semblance of guidance or experience as the ranting and raving emanated from the concrete enclave before us.

Just around the corner was a group of 10 to 15 homeless men, hiding from the January cold under dirty blankets and raggedy old coats.

We have two bowls of chili, two bananas, two sandwiches, and a few apples. Will they fight over it? Will they hurt each other? Will they hurt us? We could feel the hot chili cooling in our hands, so we finally decided to wing it.

“Anyone hungry?” we boldly stepped out.

It was hardly the stampede we had irrationally feared – one hand shyly raised up in front of us. The man under the tattered grey blanket introduced himself as Bob and Bob asked for an apple. The people around Bob began asking for food and quickly we distributed our remaining stock.

“So, Bob, how are you doing tonight?” I asked, not quite sure how to have small talk with someone living under a Metro station. I did know that repeating Bob’s name would make Bob feel proud, as Bob may not have heard his own name in a real conversation with someone in weeks, months, or perhaps years.

Bob was glowing. He bit into his apple and praised the lord. He explained that he and the folks around him lost their families, lost their jobs, and have “just been down and out”. He explained that there are some “crazies” around, but most of the men under the Metro were just like him – hungry and need someone to talk to every once in a while.

“Don’t be scared,” Bob said, “because you just lit up my day. You let me know that people still care about us, still think about us, and that G-d is in you. If more people could do that for us, remembering that we’re people, I can’t tell you how it would make us feel.”
Bob held up his apple and took another bite. “This apple,” Bob said as he chewed, “this apple is a million dollars to me.”

In all honesty, I participated in a weeknight “Midnight Mitzvahs” event just to do something a little nice and different with my evening. I picked up a couple of sandwiches and was ready to simply go through the motions. I wasn’t prepared to meet someone like Bob.

“I’ll see you again, soon, Bob,” I said, before heading home to my warm bed.

And I will.

Midnight Mitzvahs is a volunteer-led initiative launched in Washington, DC. It strives to bring supplies and smiles to the 6,500+ homeless residents of DC. Email diamondjm@gmail.com if you are interested in getting involved. 

0

Jewish Guy of the Week: Gabe!

Gabe 2Jackie: What brought you to DC?

Gabe: After college, I took a job and spent a year up in Minnesota. Eventually I was just about done with the extreme snow and cold (the week where it didn’t get above -10 did it for me) and I was ready to move on.  I had a few friends that lived in the area and they couldn’t stop talking about how great it is so I decided to move here. The first time I was in the area in the past 15 years is when I showed up with my car packed with all my possessions.  Almost two years later now, I haven’t looked back!

Jackie: I hear you travel a lot, can you tell about some of your recent adventures?

Gabe: My most recent (and probably my favorite so far) was a trip to Peru this past September. The highlight of the trip was four days spent camping and hiking the Inca trail.  It wasn’t the easiest way to get to Machu Picchu but I know that we appreciated the view from the top way more then anyone who took the train did.

Jackie: What’s your favorite way to spend Shabbat?

Gabe: Anywhere that there is friends and food. It never ceases to amaze me how Jewish people from all over the country (and world) all know the same tunes to the songs and prayers.

Gabe 3Jackie: What is your favorite Jewish food and/or holiday?

Gabe: While I’m not in love with the eating restrictions for the rest of the week, nothing beats a good Passover Seder

Jackie: Who is your favorite Jew?

Jackie: I’m kind of on a 60’s kick right now, so I’ll go with Bob Dylan

Jackie: Finish the sentence: When the Jews gather…

Gabe: there’s no place I’d rather be.

0

Jewish Girl of the Week/Newest GTJ Team Member – Jackie

Want to recommend an outstanding leader to be featured on GTJ? Nominate him/her at rgildiner@gatherthejews.com.

IMG_5490 (1)Rachel: What are you most excited for with GTJ?

Jackie: I am beyond excited to join the GTJ team! One of the things I look forward to most is getting more involved in the DC Jewish community. While I have been living here for over a year now, I can’t wait to meet more awesome Jews in DC. Mostly though, I just want to find more people to discuss Serial with at Shabbat dinner- is that so wrong?

Rachel: How did you first get involved with the Jewish community in DC?

Jackie: My very first weekend after moving to DC, I went with some friends to a young professionals Shabbat service at Sixth and I. After graduating from Brandeis University, I realized how I had taken my Jewish community there for granted and was anxious to find a similar place for myself here in DC. After attending the service and other young professional events in DC, I realized how vibrant the DC Jewish community is and I knew I wanted to get involved.

Rachel: What’s your favorite part about being Jewish?383695_2527634710289_1431782458_n

Jackie: I would normally say the community and the people, but to avoid being repetitive… I love furthering my Jewish knowledge and learning. I think Judaism is a fascinating intersection of culture, religion, politics and history. There is so much to learn and I have enjoyed every opportunity I have had to deepen my Jewish knowledge.

Rachel: Do you have a favorite Jew?

Jackie: I’ve got a lot of favorites but someone I’m really loving right now is Leandra Medine aka the Man Repeller. Leandra is a New York fashion blogger with an eccentric style and the chutzpah to accessorize her most daring outfits. I loved her book Seeking Love and Finding Overalls. I felt immediately connected to her strong Jewish identity and funky feminist spirit.

305568_467512219965970_501600054_nRachel: What’s your favorite Jewish holiday and/or food?

Jackie: I go crazy for Borekas, potato or cheese filled pastries found in bus stations all over Israel. I attended the Turkish Festival in DC this year and I insisted that my friend and I sample every flavor of boreka we could find, which I think ended up being 6 different types! It was one of my favorite memories in DC.

My favorite Jewish holiday is Rosh Hashanah. I love the celebratory feeling of having a new start for a new year. Sitting down with friends to a delicious home-cooked dinner (I really do love food!) and having a wonderful fall feast is very special to me. This Rosh Hashanah was the first I celebrated in DC and I was fully invested in reflecting on my past year and setting goals for my future.

Rachel: When you aren’t gathering, what do you like to do?

Jackie: One of my favorite things to do is going to see concerts- I can’t get enough live music. DC has a dynamic music scene and I’m always sending out mass texts to friends to see who wants to get tickets to the next show with me (let me know if you want to get in on the next mass text!)

Rachel: Finish the sentence: When the Jews gather…

Jackie: I’ll bring the borekas.

 

0

Fish ‘n Chips ‘n Trivia Trials

homer2I don’t always go to trivia.
But when I do, I seem to do miserably.

Maybe I just need to step my game up by going to Trivia at Sixth & I every month… or pull a Perfect Score and steal the questions before I get there, don’t tell Robin. (Gather the Jews does not encourage Trivia cheating)

But other than my personal less-than-stellar performance, it was a wonderful time Wednesday night at Sixth & I with Gather the Jews, B’nai B’rith International and MASA Israel. Everyone had a healthy serving of fish n’ chips and mushy peas with wine and beer to get the trivia juices flowing. The night ran smoothly, though, the peace was threatened in the accent-off when it was discovered by the judges that one of the participants was not “putting on an accent” but was actually a dual citizen just speaking normally. Crisis was averted and he was disqualified from that particular round; all was fair again. The rest of the night proceeded without incident.

Every time I have been to trivia there has been a round that incorporates music clips into the competition. Your team has to identify the artist from only 30 seconds of a song. Highlight of my night (after knowing all the answers to the Harry Potter questions) was identifying the Arctic Monkeys’ song moments after it started (you are right Arctic Monkeys, I do look good on the dance floor, how did you know?). But there were also some gaps – I could have gotten credit for knowing all the words to Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man” but dear Dusty’s name escaped me.

geri-union-jack-re_2126979aSo to brush up on my British music I requested from the wonderful ladies over at Sixth&I that they send me their playlist from the night – all British bands. You won’t catch me unable to identify God Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols again! I thought I would also share on Gather’s blog as well to spread the joy that can only come when listening to a play list with the Spice Girls on it. Cheerio!
Wonderwall – Oasis
This Charming Man – The Smiths
I Fought the Law – The Clash
The Party Line – Belle & Sebatian
God Save the Queen – Sex Pistols
Tears Dry On Their Own – Amy Winehouse
Life On Mars? – David Bowie
The Lady Is a Vamp – Spice Girls
Viva La Vida – Coldplay
Son of A Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield
You Really Got Me – The Kinks
I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor – Arctic Monkeys

3

This One’s for the Men: 5 Creative Ways to Get Girls to Message You Back

Hey baby!
Hey beautiful.
What’s up, sexy?
You must be tired because you’ve been running around my mind all day!

If you’ve ever sent someone an email or text like the ones above from one of the online dating sites or apps, then you know the outcome: crickets. No respectable woman (if that’s what you’re going for) wants to receive a note that not only shows that you didn’t read her profile but also turns her into a piece of meat. Below are real, unedited emails that female clients of mine have received on various online dating sites that were certainly not the right way to get someone to respond favorably:

Your profile caught my eye and I am a little embarrassed to tell you why. You look just like.. You look like the mom next door, but I can’t help but think you’re super naughty. It is really hot. You are innocent and sweet looking, but it is like you are thinking something less than pure in your head. I don’t know why I got that feel, but I did. It just makes me think you are very sexy milf! haha Okk, sorry! That was too forward! hah

Wow ok.. So u probably get alot of bull crap messages so I’m just going to be real. I would like to know u and take u out lol. U wanna know more about me, write me :-) hope to hear from soon

Shut up and let me take u out

Too bad for me that I am married!!!!

Hello there, you’re very pretty! I wish you were my girlfriend!

These are bad, and I hope I don’t have to explain why. Now that we’ve gotten what not to do out of the way, let’s look at 5 creative ways to get girls to message you back:

5. Speak like a human.

Ok, this one admittedly isn’t very creative, but it is necessary. Please check for grammar and punctuation. And if you want to say “you,” then write it out rather than using “u” instead. It’ll go further than you think, even on JSwipe and Tinder.

4. Make sure she knows you read her profile.

This is another boring one, I know, but it’s important that you don’t just comment on her “gorgeous smile.” Rather, comment on how she totally killed your time in the marathon or how impressive it is that she drinks peaty Scotch.

3. Use a quirky or creative subject line (if there’s a place for one).

Would you rather answer an email with “Enjoyed your profile” or “Alien invasion – take cover” as the subject line? Unless you’re actually concerned about aliens (or don’t like people with a sense of humor), then I’m guessing you’d choose the latter. So will she.

2. Always ask a fun question, usually at the end.

Not fun: “How are you enjoying the weather these days?” Seriously? The weather?

Fun: “So your friends say you’re loyal, funny, and adventurous… awesome. But what I want to know is this: How would your enemies describe you? ;-)”

Another fun one: “That’s awesome that peanut butter was listed as the first thing on your ‘can’t live without’ list. Are we talking crunchy or creamy? Very important.”

And #1…

1. Tease her in a way that makes her want to tease you back.

“You’re a Red Sox Fan. I’m a Yankees fan. Are we doomed? Good thing you also mentioned that you like an IPA, so I think we stand a chance.”

“No sushi for you? I may have to work with you on that one since it’s my favorite. We won’t start out with eel or anything raw. Deal?”

Obviously, no one can ever guarantee that your email or text will receive a response, but if you follow these tips rather than your usual “Sup, yo?” greeting, then you’re at least off to a good start.

Feel free to list in the comments some emails or intros on the apps that worked… or didn’t.

0

GTJ and Moishe House Happy Hour Fundraiser

Join Gather the Jews and all the DC-area Moishe Houses for a Happy Hour Fundraiser benefiting the National Campus Leadership Council and efforts to combat sexual assault on college campuses.

When: Thursday, January 22, 6:00 – 9:00 pm

Where: Southern Hospitality, 1815 Adams Mill Road, NW

Housemates and special guests will be bartending Thursday night on the corner of 18th and Columbia. $3 Bud Lights and HALF PRICE ALL Bottles of Wine!

0

Go on Birthright with the DC community trip!

0

Trivia Night: British Invasion Edition

0

NeXus Spring Registration is OPEN

NeXus: Where You and Jewish Community Converge
February – April 2015

Looking for a way to get more involved and meet new people in the local Jewish community?  Take the next step on your Jewish journey with NeXus, a six-session series. Find ways to make a true impact on the world through involvement with The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington and engage with leaders in our community.   This unique, interactive learning opportunity will expand your Jewish leadership skills, explore your Jewish identity and teach you about the work of The Jewish Federation. Don’t wait – join NeXus today!

Registration for NeXus Spring 2015 session is OPEN NOW! Visit www.shalomdc.org/nexus to learn more and register.

2

Online Dating was SO Last Sunday

“If you needed proof that New Year’s resolutions are real, you probably could have found it on OkCupid/Tinder/JSwipe/Hinge Sunday night,” says Ellie Krupnick in her recent article on mic.com.

According to data from Match.com and Mashable, the first Sunday in January (as in, this past Sunday) was, and will be, the year’s busiest night for online dating. The first week of January alone is predicted to see two million users logging onto Match.com, the site said, with traffic reaching its highest numbers January 4th.

Why might this be? If people have been home for the holidays with family around asking (prying?) about their single status, then the Sunday following New Year might be the first chance that they actually have for themselves. So why not online date?

If you missed the window the other night and think all the good potential mates are taken, don’t worry. All hope is not lost! The period between New Year’s and Valentine’s Day is the most active season, so you still have plenty of time to sign in and schedule those dates.

The fallacy, though, is that many people think that by simply signing up or logging in to an online dating site or app, they are well on their way to coupling bliss, if that’s what they are looking for, of course. Everyone says, “Relationships take work,” but finding love (or even just a quality date for next Tuesday night) also takes work, which some people don’t realize. I wish we were all so lucky to have Prince Charming (or Princess Charming) fall into our arms, but I don’t know anyone who has that kind of luck. Just like in our jobs, we have to make our own happiness. (I know first-hand since I quit my job in finance back in 2011 to follow this passion of starting my own business.) We have to do that in the love arena, too. Maybe it won’t make for the best meet cute, but you won’t care when you’re in the arms of someone you love and who loves you.

Online dating isn’t easy, which many people don’t realize. They think they can just throw a profile up there and wait. No way, Jose. That’s like walking into a bar and just plopping yourself on a stool without even trying to make conversation with anyone. Or assuming you’ll lose weight simply by paying your gym membership every month even if you never set foot inside. It’s just not going to work.

Let’s refresh ourselves on a few pointers to make sure online dating can work for you:

  1. Choose three to five photos, including a clear shot of your face and a full-body shot.  It also helps to have a shot of you doing something interesting to provide some “email bait.” Tinder allows six photos. Match.com allows 26! Less is more.
  2. Make sure your profile is well-written (check it for errors) and not too long. After a long day of work, people have a hard time focusing on profiles that ramble on and on, especially on the apps. Bullet points work well here.
  3. Stand out from the crowd. Do you like to laugh and have fun? Me, too. Someone would rather see that you like the color turquoise, have a pet turtle, and build five-tiered snowmen than that you’re “just as comfortable in a little black dress or tux as you are in a pair of jeans and flip flips.”
  4. Be proactive.  Reach out to people who interest you.  It’s 2015.  The ball is in your court.

Happy dating!

1
Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge and author of Love at First Site, available on Amazon.  Her work has been seen on NPR, Talk Philly, The Washington Post, and more.  To join her mailing list for tips and events, please join here.

Page 3 of 9512345...102030...Last »