GTJ Satirist Brian F. – Filet-o-Matzah, Big Matzah Mac to Debut At McDonalds For One Week this Spring

mat burgBOROUGH PARK, NY (@The Comedy News) – To coincide with the Jewish holiday of Passover, McDonalds is introducing two special burgers for one week only.

The Filet-O-Matzah and the Big Matzah Mac will debut at sundown on Monday, March 25, 2013.

The main feature of the new temporary burgers will be the buns made from matzah—an unleavened, crunchy flatbrad made solely from water and flour.

For the Big Matzah Mac, the matzah buns will be in lieu of the traditional Big Mac sesame seed buns that are forbidden by Jewish law for the week-long holiday celebrating the Jews’ freedom from bondage in Egypt 5,000 years ago.

Since the traditional Special Sauce on the Big Mac will be unkosher for Passover, the Big Matzah Mac will feature a “Schpecial Schmear” between the two all-beef patties, along with lettuce, pickles, and onion.

“We are proud to introduce our latest line of kosher-for-Passover burgers that will ensure that McDonalds’ devout Jewish customers can still enjoy their favorite McDonalds meal during their holidays,” announced a McDonalds spokesman.  “From sundown March 25 through sundown April 2, McDonalds at select locations in New York, Miami, Los Angeles, and Boston will be ditching the chametz and pitching some matzah burgers.”

The second McDonalds Passover burger, the Filet-O-Matzah, will feature a hunk of raw matzah dough flanked by two matzah flatbread slices.

During the week of Passover, McDonalds will also be promoting the “happykomen”.  The happykomen is a McDonalds version of the traditional Passover game “afikomen”.  For the price of $3.99, children will be encouraged search for traces of the pink slime goo paste that has been forbidden from McDonalds food since late 2011.  The first child to find a trace of the pink slime goo paste gets their choice of a free Big Matzah Mac or a Fliet-O-Matzah.  All participating children will get a free dreidel.

The official celebrity spokesman for McDonalds’ new kosher-for-Passover slogan, “Ditch the Chametz, Pitch some Matzah Burgers”, will be the reclusive Baseball Hall of Famer Sandy Koufax.

Brian Fishbach is a comedian, writer, political satirist, former GTJ JGOTW, and musician specializing in social and political commentary.  You can read Brian’s weekly satire news articles at, and enjoy his late-night jokes at  Join The Comedy News’ Facebook page for updates.