On the Eight Nights of Chanukah, My Dating Coach Said to Me… GTJ Dating Series with Erika E. (week 22)

As the year comes to a close, I want to provide a summary of the top eight tips from 2011.  Feel free to sing along!

On the 1st night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

In online dating, differentiating yourself is key.  You want someone to be able to paint a picture of you in his or her mind rather than painting a generic person who could be just about anyone.

On the 2nd night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

Try to avoid making online dating like ordering a pizza.  We are all looking for that on-paper perfect mate.  And since online dating sites give so much choice in the matter, we think it’s our right to have everything we’re looking for.  Go ahead, order whatever you want for dinner, but when it comes to dating, there’s no check-box order to place.  Give people the benefit of the doubt because in the end, after meeting in person, chemistry may trump all to give you the slice of your life.

On the 3rd night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

Don’t use a spur-of-the-moment Groupon/Living Social Deal on the first date.  If you’ve planned the outing in advance because of the Groupon, then you’re good to go.

On the 4th night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

Online dating isn’t easy, which many people don’t realize. They think they can just throw a profile up there and wait.  No way, Jose.  That’s like walking into a bar and just plopping yourself on a stool without even trying to make conversation with anyone.  It’s just not going to work.  Yes – online dating takes work.  But then again, so do most things in life that are worth the outcome.

On the 5th night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

There’s no modern-day dating Lemon Law, so for the “creepy” bad date (other variants are “scary” bad, “offensive” bad, “mean” bad), the best bet is to be honest.  “You know, I just don’t think we’re clicking.  It was nice to meet you, but I don’t want either of us to waste our time, so I thought I’d say that to give us the option to go do something else tonight.”

On the 6th night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

On a first date, you can always add dinner, but you can’t take it back.  Enough said.

On the 7th night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

In online dating, non-response does not equal rejection.  In other words, the absence of a positive reply (an e-mail back) is not the same as someone turning you down.  Just forget about it and move on.  Remember – for all you know, they just didn’t like your hair.

On the 8th night of Chanukah, my dating coach said to me:

Don’t commit any of the four Dins – 1) The last-minute cancel and never reschedule, 2) The no interest make-out, 3) Canceling via text, and 4) Deciding you’re not interested and never telling the other person.

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

Have a wonderful holiday from Erika at A Little Nudge, your GTJ dating blogger.

If only there were eight more nights to write about.  In case you want more, an archive of all of Erika’s columns is also available.  Want to connect with Erika?  Join her newsletter for updates and tips.