DC ownz Chicago

By
Stephen Richer
– November 16, 2011

Image from original article at Oy! Chicago

Last week, Andy Kirschner pitted DC against Chicago in “an un-OY-fficial match-up.”  He graded the cities on 10 factors:

  1. Origins – Tie
  2. Namesake – DC
  3. Most recognizable politician – Tie
  4. Pizza – Chicago
  5. Museums – DC
  6. Most Visited Tourist Attraction – DC
  7. Getting Around by Car – Chicago
  8. Getting Around by Public Transit – DC
  9. Famous Fires – Chicago
  10. 2011 Disasters – Chicago

Chicago won four; DC won four.  The result … a tie.

………

Fortunately, I’m here for overtime.  My qualifications are the same as Andy’s – I lived in Chicago before moving to DC.

And in overtime, DC freaking ownz Chicago. 

  1. Weather.  I ran outside in shorts and a t-shirt yesterday.  I think I ran outside in Chicago once… Then I realized I didn’t like running in sub-zero temperatures with wind.
  2. Degrees.  DC has more academic degrees than Chicago, and, as any northwest DCist can tell you, the number of degrees you have is directly proportional to your coolness and your general life value.   “Washington region ranks as the best-educated in the country.”
  3. Health.  We’re fit.  We’re the second healthiest city in the country according to Centrum (and American Fitness).  Chicago… not on the top 10.  I guess that’s because you’re hibernating.
  4. Night at the Museum.  There’ve been Night at the Museum movies made about New York and DC.   Chicago?  I guess yours is still coming?  I heard they might do Salt Lake City or Boise next though.
  5. Most recognizable politician.  Ok.  We tie on the Ace.  But we’ve got the next highest cards.  HRC and Biden > Rahm.
  6. NBA Team.  Bulls vs. Wizards… Doesn’t matter because there’s not going to be an NBA season.
  7. Tallest building.  Nobody knows what yours is named (Sears?  Willis?  Big black building?).  Everyone knows ours is the Washington Monument.
  8. Airport.  It takes me 15 minutes to get from downtown DC to Reagan International.  It takes you 60 minutes to get from downtown Chicago to O’Hare.  My plane is delayed by one hour.  Yours is delayed by five.
  9. Percentage of Jews.  Wikipedia says DC > Illinois.
  10. Dan Brown. Dan Brown has written books about Seville, the Arctic, London, Paris, Rome, and …  DC.

Win.

Please feel free to share other reasons why DC > Chicago in the comments section.

 

*** Andy’s original article appeared at Oy! Chicago — a news and events website affiliated with JUFJ for Chicago Jews.

 

 

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