Meeting Someone Online: Luck or Work? – GTJ dating series with Erika E. (week 6)

Ah, online dating.  Some people love it.  Some people hate it.  I’m in the former category. (Or else I wouldn’t be writing about it!)  I always tell skeptics: If you meet the love of your life online, you won’t care how the heck you met – you’ll just be thrilled that you did!

Everyone says, “Relationships take work,” which is true.  But finding love also takes work, which people don’t realize.  I wish we were all so lucky to have Prince Charming (or Princess Charming?) fall into our arms, but I don’t know anyone who has that kind of luck.  Just like in our jobs, we have to make our own happiness.  (I would know since I quit my job in finance to follow this passion.)  We have to do that in the love arena, too.  Why not control your destiny a little?  Maybe it won’t make for the best meet cute, but you won’t care when you’re in the arms of someone you love and who loves you.

When people tell me, “You’re so lucky you found Jeremy,” I have to laugh a little.  Yes – I am so lucky for having found such a thoughtful, smart, and (not to mention) good-looking guy.  But was it luck or persistence that led me to him?  I’d venture to say a little of both.

Online dating isn’t easy, which many people don’t realize. They think they can just throw a profile up there and wait.  No way, Jose.  That’s like walking into a bar (or the dive-in movie) and just plopping yourself on a stool without even trying to make conversation with anyone.  It’s just not going to work.  And I’ve realized that many people do not want to put in the effort, which is what led to starting my own business, A Little Nudge.  I give people a little nudge in their online dating lives because I truly think it’s a great way to meet.

The naysayers, of course, always have something to say about online dating:

  • “I can’t write about myself,” is a common argument.  No problem!  Let’s chat for an hour and I’ll ask you some questions.  Based on that, I’ll suggest ways to make you shine in your profile.
  • “None of my pictures look good,” is another one.  You know there’s a good smile in there somewhere!  Less is more when it comes to pictures.  A nice close-up smile goes a long way.  I’ll have a whole separate post on pictures in the future, too.
  • Another good one is, “But none of the people I like are writing to me.”  Who cares?  You need to write to people also, which some people (especially women) find to be a novel concept.  Why not take control over your contacts?  (I wrote to Jeremy first.  Don’t tell!)
  • “But what will I say?”  Don’t worry about it.  Just write something short and sweet, taking into account both your personality and something from his or her profile.

It doesn’t seem so bad anymore, right?  Yes – online dating takes work.  But then again, so do most things in life that are worth the outcome.  I’m here to lighten the load and guide you through the process.  Trust me – it’ll be worth it!

Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, and helps people find success in online dating and gets them excited about its possibilities. “Like” A Little Nudge on Facebook, or follow on Twitter.

Have questions you want answered in a future post?  E-mail date411@alittlenudge.com