I want to apologize for the lack of news gathering last week. I won’t bore you with the reason why, but I’ll tell you what the reason definitely was NOT. It was not because I don’t have Internet in my apartment, so I use the 24 hour Starbucks at GW, where the power inexplicably went out while I was writing, resulting in everyone getting kicked out. No, that would just be silly. Therefore, much like I do with my attempt at teaching Hebrew school, we’re just going to pretend last week didn’t happen.
I’m also going to try something new here at GTN . Partly to make your GTN experience a more interactive one, and partly to make my job easier , I’m going to let you make suggestions for stories you think should be here at the end of every week. If you see something on the Interwebs that you believe should be mentioned below, shoot me a wireless e-message at firstname.lastname@example.org. If I include it, I will be sure to give you the hat tip.  Now on to the bullet points, because I know your head is hurting from this lengthy intro. Half of you probably didn’t even get this far.
- The Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl, and of course it was all made possible by the Jews. Yeah, I said it. (HT: Carolyn B.)
- Meanwhile, Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel turns to Breslover chasidism in the wake of his Super Bowl loss.
- And Dan Snyder, the Jewish owner of the far less successful Washington Redskins, sues the Washington City Paper for what he said was an antisemitic image (see below) that accompanied, in my view, a rather good feature. Now I’m hoping that Snyder doesn’t sue GTJ for the new caption.
- Iran claims to have taken back the record from Israel for most games of chess played simultaneously by a single person. Iran also apparently bests Israel in “most irrelevant world record.”
- The Daily Show profiles Jewish Speaker of the Texas House, Joe Straus. Fun fact: jokes about Jews using words that make it sound like we have something stuck in our throats never EVER get old. 
- Jews are generous givers, which naturally explains why GTJ has met its fundraising goal…oh, wait.
- Internet use causes cancer, claims a haredi marketing campaign in Israel. Several are now seeking a heter to read Gather the News.
- We’re also dominating the Oscar nominations. Jewlicious provides a rather brilliant (but not phenomenal) analysis. 
- A new movie will portray Israel handling zombies far better than it did the flotilla.
If you’re reading this, it means the power stayed on in Starbucks. Shabbat Shalom!
 Other than the new acronym.
 Ok, primarily to make my job easier.
 I wear a lot of hats, so you know it’ll happen.
 Is there any reason that rabbi in the story is wearing the tallis?
 See this for the reference.