Don’t touch that dial, it’s time for Gather the News! And if your computer has a dial, it’s probably not even a computer. Let’s Gather…
- Lebanon’s government collapses. Good for the Jews? Probably not.
- Add “gratuitously invoking classic antisemitic tropes” right after “playing victim when actual people were murdered” to the very long list of Sarah Palin head-scratchers.
- Disney evidently wants to put those “Walt Disney was an antisemite” rumors to rest.
- The Iranians are apparently still pissed about that whole Purim ordeal.
- Meanwhile, the Saudis quickly clear the Zionist vulture of all charges, and are set to release it soon. Jonathan Pollard’s people reportedly exclaim, “OMG WTF?!”
- LeBron and the Monstars beat his former team by over 50, prompting him to Tweet concepts about which he has no idea; friend of GTJ, Rabbi Fink, subsequently owns.
- It definitely ain’t the pay that made Binyamin Netanyahu want to be Prime Minister of Israel again. Chicks must dig the car, though.
- Debbie Friedman, Z”L passes away at the age of 59. Whether you learned your Aleph Bet from her song (yes, it’s hers) or have used her havdalah tune (her again!), you can appreciate who the Jewish people and the world have lost.
All apologies for the somber ending. Go cheer yourselves up by posting angry anonymous comments on this thread.