Jewish Guy – Dan

Jewish Guy - Dan

What’s your favorite kitchen appliance?
Hands down the food processor.  If you’re serious about cooking, as indeed I am, you know the food processor is a game changer altogether. New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman is attributed with saying, “After the refrigerator, and maybe the dishwasher, it’s the most useful kitchen appliance invented in the 20th century.”  I use it for bread, tortilla and pastry dough, hummus, fruit juice, fruit spreads, veggie burgers etc.  When you learn to process your own food, you no longer have to rely on store-bought processed foods which are making Americans sick.

If you were told that this is your last day on earth, how would you spend it?
I’d spend it packing my family heirlooms, guitar and flip flops. Leaving earth behind would be very difficult, but I’m told the Red Planet has a lot to offer despite widespread ignorance of the place among earthlings. We must remember that many of Mars’s great critics who succeeded so thoroughly in tarnishing its image and slandering its living conditions never in fact visited.

Water balloon or super soaker?
Water balloon.  The super soaker is too bright and bulky to offer an element of surprise so critical to success in battle.  If you approach friends with a super soaker they will know what’s coming, but they can be devastated in a water balloon attack whether you were hiding it behind your back or standing on a two-story deck above them.

Which plague would you be most scared to live through?
Hail. I went to graduate school in Austin, Texas and I’ve seen what it can do to your car. To be sure, locust, lice, frogs, darkness etc.  are serious inconveniences, but their effects don’t extend beyond the duration of the plague (the obvious exception being death of the firstborn, which I don’t intend to have just yet), nor require an appointment with the auto shop. 
 
If you could trade places with any biblical Jew, who would it be and why?
Adam, because he was the first man according to the three great monotheistic religions.  I consider Adam the Jimi Hendrix of mankind, which is to say he was the first at what he did and a true innovator within his entire genre of people.